Guide Programming

OSS Conversation Guides help to accomplish these 10 things:

• set the tone for a conversation
• keep the conversation on relevant topics
• guide the structure, not the outcome
• notice and talk about what’s happening when helpful (gently point out patterns like imbalance, tension, or confusion)
• intervene when needed, and end conversations early if necessary
• introduce and reenforce the conversation agreements (like speaking from personal experience)
• model good participation (listening actively, asking thoughtful, open-ended questions and limiting assumptions, seeking understanding)
• keep the conversation balanced with who gets “airtime” (to the best of their ability)
• trust participants to participate in making a great program experience
• help wrap up the conversation and transition out of the guided activity

OSS Conversation Guides do NOT do these 10 things:

• debate or argue with participants
• fact-check or referee disagreements in real time (bring people back to their personal experiences and stories behind their beliefs instead)
• force participation or disclosure
• rush people to agreement or resolution
• allow one person to dominate without intervention
• ignore signs of discomfort or tension
• promise neutrality (but do commit to fairness)
• push conversations past what feels respectful or safe
• carry the conversation alone (do try to have a co-lead)
• treat mistakes as failures

Tip: Practice the core skills for great conversations in your everyday life. Do you hope to hold programs where people are practicing listening well, asking great questions, limiting assumptions, and understanding people through their stories?

Complete at least one conversation with a partner using OSS Connect.

Try practicing with trusted family members and friends.

Work through the following toolkits as a solo activity:

• Toolkit: Skills for Listening Well
• Toolkit: Curious Question Asking
• Toolkit: Exploring Assumptions

Finally, read our case studies of real people’s programming. Our partner’s have made guiding conversations their own, just as you will.

The questions and procedures you use, as well as your own temperament sets an example of what is appropriate and participants can expect during your activity. Try get good rest the night before your program, keep a level head, and incorporate humor as it comes naturally to you.

Taking a few minutes to share Conversation Agreements, explain the purpose of the gathering, and invite participants to listen with care can make a real difference.

When asking guiding questions during a program – whether they are OSS Great Questions or your own great ones – you have two options. One is a clear roadmap for a conversation, with set questions and room for inserting questions of the participants choice (see our conversation roadmap), or a “choose your own adventure.” A “choose your own adventure” still involves prepping relevant questions, but you might offer them as needed and be more hands-on as a guide for where the conversation is going and when.

Choose what feels natural to you, and what yields the best results as you practice guiding conversations.

Planning and keeping everyone in the know and mindful of themselves and their fellow participants with the conversation agreements.

Trust your intuition. Any opinion strongly stated adds tension in the room. As a guide, you can look to diffuse the tension in several ways.

Follow this handout as a personal exercise

Inspiration is key. Pay attention to quotes and tips from guides in each the setting. What was their population like, their goals, and their level of experience? What went well, and what would you do differently in your own context?